Tuesday, August 28, 2007

How To Hypersexualize, Dismember, and then Kill a 14 Year Old Girl in Comics

How To Hypersexualize, Dismember, and then Kill a 14 Year Old Girl in Six Easy Steps (Plus -- If You Call Now -- A Free Bonus "Super-Fetish" Seventh Step!)

Courtesy of Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious #1, which I bought because I love Lobo, and really enjoyed Batman: Secrets from the same guy. This one, I'm now thinking, might have been a mistake.

So, how to you hypersexualize, dismember, and then kill a 14 year old girl? Glad you asked.

First, find a 14 year old girl in a short Catholic-girl skirt 7.2 light-years from Earth (How far has the Catholic Church reached in the DCU?). Ideally, make her a little bit nerdy.



Second, drop her down a hole in such a way so that (a) her shirt buttons all pop open and (b) her skirt gets hiked up a good six to nine inches, revealing her ass. This is a tricky maneuver, but you can do it if you try hard enough.



Third, the pre-requisite Lesbian Kiss among two women who are not, actually -- you know -- lesbians. Bonus points for also depicting pedophilia (older woman with 14 year old girl) and involuntary, what with a gun to the girl's neck.



Fourth, in a brief moment of regret, our underaged, overexposed pseudo-lesbian must have pangs of doubt, wishing that she could find some "guys to go party with".




But, alas, our young heroine will never get attain her hopes of heterosexual redemption because, well, you can't hypersexualize, dismember, and kill without dismemberment, so that left arm's just got to go! Trust me, in context it doesn't make any more sense why the black splotchy creature has just eaten our un-named heroine's left arm clean up to the shoulder, and then stopped. Except maybe amputee sex is one fetish we hadn't gotten to yet.



Sixth, for the grand finale, drive your motorcycle into an ammo dump, destroying all evidence of what you did. The black now-smoldering corpse is all that's left of our hyper-sexualized dismembered 14 year old.



There. Now you know how to hyper-sexualize, dismember, and the kill an anonymous 14 year old girl.

But wait! Remember how we thought that amputee-sex was the final fetish? We were wrong! Because just because you have hypersexualized, dismembered, and killed a fourteen year old girl, doesn't mean that there isn't time for just one more Pseudo-Lesbian Pedophiliac Amputee Necrophiliac Kiss!



Top THAT, Larry Flynt!

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10 Comments:

Blogger Red Stapler said...

That looks like Sam Kieth art.

Please tell me that's not Sam Kieth.

Julie Winters and the Four Women would beat the shit out of him if it was...

::Googles::

Wow.

That's...wow.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Ragtime said...

Hi Ms. Stapler!

Like I said, I had loved Batman: Secrets, which Keith also did, and was actually looking forward to this as a result.

What I was left with was maybe three or four pages of Batman and/or Lobo, along with about 40 pages of . . . this.

The rest of the story is essentially the same series of events with two or three other women. I only picked this sequence as an example because it was the most egregious visually.

There's probably another post in my somewhere on the actual thematic problems with the issue (female independence = evil feminist virus), but that will take more time to think about.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Mela said...

A pox on you, Bizarro Sam Kieth, for besmirching the good name of your "Four Women" and "Zero Girl" creating good twin!

9:14 AM  
Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

GROSSSSSS

11:35 AM  
Blogger Ragtime said...

Hi Mela. Bizarro is right.

And yes, Ami, Grosssss definitely qualifies.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm holding off judgment on this until Keith wraps it up. We all know that he likes nothing more than to screw with reader's heads (does anyone remember reading The Maxx month to month?) and there was something about this story that made me feel like he was deliberately leading us to a false conclusion.

Its worth noting that the entire story has been told through the eyes of two very macho characters, neither of whom are used to being overpowered by anyone and both of whom have a history of misogyny. This is Sam Keith and its reading like Frank Miller, I can't help but suspect that something is up.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous blindaman said...

That's like 8 fetishes in one book! Awesome!

3:46 AM  
Blogger João said...

Yup, I agree that Sam Kieth is not THAT shallow. But perhaps there is nothing hiding under this story. Is just a closed criticism of Sam, or he is trying to be bidimensional to know how it feels.
Anyway, I think that we have to remember of WHO we are talking about as anonymous pointed. It's Sam Kieth. This is not like the usual line of work of him.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Glenn Ingersoll said...

You saved the 3D glasses, didn't you?

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To be honest, I hate the comic book readers much more than the writers/illustrators. Did you even read the dialogue? I guess some people want everything explained to them in full as its happening. Rather than make a poignant review of the 2-part comic as a whole, you took a blind shot at the visuals with below-the-belt commentary, which totally hides the real storyline. It seems that kieth is tired of the superhero genre (which i have always been weary of),and being that he made a deal with DC, is trying to stray (or make a mockery of) from the all action and crap-ass cheeze dialogue we are so used to with superhero comics. But, for someone who likes lobo, its to be expected. I certainly wouldnt say this is his best story, but at least he's trying something different. Oh, and if you want to talk about hypersexualization, speak of every other comic book that displays huge-breasted heroines without any sexuality or emotion. Its all bs. Animals are sexual creatures, as dirty or pornographic as you want to label it as.

2:48 PM  

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