Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Amazons

Maybe you've been thinking recently about Amazons, and how the peace-loving women of Paradise Island could attack in the new mini-series, "Amazons Attack." I mean, they lived separately for years, and they didn't attack any of the other times that the world almost got blown up, or Wonder Woman got killed or captured or depowered, or the OMACs attacked.

Apparently, they are now all really, really evil. Not just the leaders, but all of them. Evil evil evil.

Bad, bad Amazons.

I mean, sure, they Attack and everything. That's why it's called "Amazons Attack." Why are they attacking, though? And why are they killing innocent Asian bystanders?

Only possible solution I can think of . . . Bad, Evil, Man-Hating Amazons.

So, with only five issues left to find out I've come up with six possible working theories.

1. Industrial strength mind-control drug mixed into the Paradise Island drinking water.

2. These bitches just need to get laid.

3. We are on Opposite World, and Washington D.C. will soon be saved by Bizarro Superman.

4. Feminazis. They have always been feminazis. You knew it. I knew it. We all knew this was going to happen eventually.

5. We all know this is what Andrea Dworkin would have really wanted, if she were still alive.

6. DC didn't think it could sell 6 issues of "Amazons Fight a Defensive War at Home."

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EDIT:
Crap, how could I have forgotten:

7. PMS. The Amazons' war will end in a week after their synchronized menstrual cycles have moved on. Actually, thinking about this -- did Black Adam have PMS?

--

I figure it's got to some combination of those six. Or, you know, maybe all of them.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

I rly hope that it's Darkseid behind this whole thing :(

Or the Amazons are just ruined :(

2:12 PM  
Blogger Ragtime said...

Hi, Amy.

There's a good chance, but I don't know if that makes it any better.

I'm a little tired of the mind-control excuse.

7:41 AM  

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