Monday, October 30, 2006

Trials of Shazam #3 -- The Rape Fantasy (Cover Date December, 2006)

Well, I was a little nervous when I saw the giant, green, glowing vagina on the last page of Trials of Shazam #2, but I didn't think they'd take it quite this far. . .

Major Heroes: Freddy Freeman, Zareb
Minor Heroes: Rachel Zallman

Major Villains: Audiom Warbeast, Council of Merlin, Terrom
Minor Villains: Sabina


The episode begins just as Freddy and Zareb are being attacked by the giant, green Audiom Warbeast. After several attempts, Freddy destroys it from the inside, and in doing so earns a little bit of power -- being able to walk without his cane when he says "Shazam".

Meanwhile, the Council of Merlin is introduced as the group that sent the Audiom Warbeast. They are all descendants of Merlin, and believe that if Freddy Freeman is killed before passing his 12 Trials, then the powers of Shazam will go to their servant Sabina instead of Freddy.

At a local tattoo parlor, Rachel Zallman imprints an ancient magical scripture on Freddy's skin, while Freddy tells his origins, and admits that he blames Captain Marvel to some extent for killing his grandfather and crippling him, but that he also accepts the responsibility of the powers that Captain Marvel gave him. Afterwards, Freddy realizes that "Zallman" is Yiddish for "Solomon," and that Rachel has given him the wisdom of Solomon along with his tattoo.


Okay, so I'm not the first one to claim that every cylindrical object is a "phallic symbol" and every vaguely round object is a "yonic symbol", but we're a little beyond blatant here. Let's start with the facts on the Audiom Warbeast.

1. Looks exactly like a vagina, complete with labia.

2. Topped by a clitoris, which doubles as a beak, giving obvious vagina dentata imagery.

3. Directly above the clitoris is a darker "V" resembling trimmed pubic hair.

Textual clues.
1. What I originally thought were six eyes above the clitoris turns out to be six "rectums".

2. When it is pointing out that it has six rectums, the follow-up is "That's nothing. You should see them try to mate. The smell alone will kill you."

So, we've got an item that looks exactly like a vagina, is directly adjacent to the rectum, and is identified only as smelling bad during sex. The prosecution rests.

But only on the count of the Audiom Warbeast being a giant vagina! There is still Count Two -- The Rape of the Vagina. Let's lay out the evidence here. Starting with the Gravitox Wand, which I wouldn't have immediately thought of as a phallic symbol, were it not for the circumstances. . .

1. When faced with the Giant Vagina, we immediately whip out the Gravitox Wand, but we are hesitant about using it from a distance, because that would "just make him mad." Him? Well, whatever. The fact is it does make him mad.

2. How does the Wand work? He it "activates with your emotions -- your soul -- your guts." Hm, a magical stick that is activated by emotions . . .

3. After the Wand fails to stop the Warbeast, Freddy yells, "If sorcery won't get us in the door --" In the door? It seems that we have forgotten that we are only "Symbolically" raping the Warbeast. Exactly what "door" is he trying to get in?

4. Unable to destroy the Warbeast from a distance, Freddy rams the Magic Wand direct INTO the Warbeast. "Let's just start with some old-fashioned PAIN!" and "Let's see how it handles some Magic on the Inside! Then we'll see who's useless."

5. Of course, penetrating the Warbeast with the Magic Wand is successful, and Freddy Freeman becomes slightly more of a "man" as a result.

The prosecution now rests. Which is shame, because I though that the second part of the issue, where Freddy gains the Wisdom of Solomon by admitting his true feelings was very well done. Unfortunately, after the great big rape scene, there's no room left to analyze that part.

Labels: , , , , ,


Blogger remix17 said...

Note to self: NEVER run into this writer in dark alley.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Ragtime said...


I make it a habit of avoiding dark alleys altogether.


10:52 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home