DCU: Decisions #1

Stop it.

Just stop it.

I could understand if they said that Batman was a Republican. Or Alan Scott. Or Wonder Woman. Heck, it could even have been an interesting twist if Hawkgirl voted Republican.

By there is NO FREAKIN' WAY that Lois Lane is a Republican.

That is all.

We Welcome Our New Corporate Overlords (Action Comics #6: Cover Date, November 1938)

Characters

Main Heroes: Superman, Lois Lane

Main Villains: Nick Williams

P'Shat

A man claiming to be Superman's "agent" walks into the newspaper office. He shows Clark and his editor a radio ad for "Supeman's" breakfast cereal, a blimp pulling ad ad for Superman gasoline, and a billboard for Superman's automobile. Clark is dubious, and asks for proof. Proof is to provided that evening, when the real Superman will do feats of strength at the agents office.

Lois hears of the demonstration, and tricks Clark in order to get the story for herself. She invites him on a date (where a lounge singer sings a Superman song!) and then slips him a mickey. Clark pretends to pass out, and Lois sneaks away to do the exclusive interview.

The "real Superman", however, is only an actor, and the feats of strength involve "flying" in from the outside ledge, and lifting a desk made out of cardboard. Lois is not fooled for a second. So, Superman and his agent throw Lois out the window . . . where she is rescued by the REAL real Superman, who proceeds to arrest the con artists/ murderers.

Drash



Clark Kent is stunned to look out the newspaper office's window and see all the Superman parephernalia for sale (didn't he see the billboard on his way in to work that morning!) While the text is that the problem is corporate sponsorship without permission, the sub-text is clearly that this sort of corporate shilling is a bad thing. (Otherwise, why didn't the real Superman go out and do it himself?) The images are supposed to represent over-the-top marketing saturation.

But for those of us who grew up with "The Underwear That's Fun To Wear!" -- well, we're not that impressed. It struck me as I was thinking about commercialism how completely un-shocking it was that there was a time when everyone could purchase super-hero underwear. What would Clark Kent think about 5 years olds running around in 50% polyester red and yellow underpants?

I can't imagine that he would be pleased. And yet . . . I can't really get worked up about it. Maybe I have truly submitted to my corporate overlords.

Random Thought #1: Note for the comparison shopper, though. Superman was 50% cotton, but Supergirl was 100% polyester. Who knew?

Random Thought #2: Why are the pictures of the Underoos inside of thought bubbles?

Mega-rod! Mega-rod! Mega-rod! (Birds of Prey #101, Cover Date Feb. 07)

Characters:

Main Heroes: Oracle, Barda, Huntress, Zinda, Judomaster, Manhunter

Main Villain: Spy Smasher

P'Shat

Having freed to mob boss's daughter from the Mexican prison, Zinda flies the group North, where they are intercepted by U.S. fighter planes while still in Mexican airspace. After a fight scene between Barda and various aircraft, Zinda's helicopter is blown out of the sky. Saved at the last minute by Barda's boom tube, they take a limo to turn over the mob boss, but are instead arrested by the agents. Meanwhile, Manhunter is off on her own trying to free another group of prisoners -- the "real" targets -- and Oracle is meeting with Lois Lane with Misfit in charge.

Drash

Repeated usage of the word "Mega-Rod" cures a lot of ills, but this story isn't really keeping it's plot twists in line. If the secret plan was to make it look like the Birds of Prey had been killed so they wouldn't be followed, why are they risking Barda going off to fight to planes? Did she not know the "secret plan" that she was a part of? Isn't is only supposed to be secret from the bad guys? But Spy Smasher tells Oracle that all of her agents will be dead or in jail within 48 hours, and promptly has the "dead" Birds arrested, so she apparently wasn't fooled either. What the heck kind of secret plan fools Zinda, but not Spy Smasher?

Meanwhile, while the cover shows Manhunter being arrested by armed agents, the issue actually ends with everyone BUT Manhunter being arrested. Kate is just off fighting Miguel, a large shirtless Mexican who apparently is always on call for the prison's shirtless- fighting-Mexican needs.

But, hey, at the Mexicans actually have some Hispanics on staff. The All-Caucasian Birds remain in all-White mode.

Fear of a Vaccinated Planet (Superman #222, Cover Date Dec. 2005)

Characters

Major Heroes: Superman, Lois Lane
Minor Heroes: Perry White, Jimmy Olson, Superman Robot

Major Villains: OMAC
Minor Villains: Weather Wizard

P'Shat

The story is told in both "real time" and "flashback". The real time story shows Lois Lane alone in her apartment, where she is being attacked by an OMAC. She attacks it with her "pulse hammer repeller rifle" and, when that doesn't work, flees to her "panic room" in the bathroom. When the OMAC seems like he is about to break into the panic room, Lois blows out the pilot light in the room, and sets the gas on fire, stopping the OMAC and almost killing both of them. The OMAC reverts to her friend Kelly who we learn in the interwoven flashback . . .

got a flu shot. Lois didn't and is now coming down with the flu in a rainstorm, which is being caused by the Weather Wizard. Superman chases him off, but Clark quickly comes running back to help Lois. Lois has a lead about the origin of the OMACs, but Clark sabotages her attempts to meet with the anonymous source and replaces her at the meeting. The anonymous source tells how she was part of a vaccination program funded by Maxwell Lord, and that she did not suspect until too late that the OMAC outbreaks were coming from the same locations are her vaccination program. Thus, it was Lois's failure to get a flu vaccine that kept her from turning into an OMAC. The OMACs attack the secret meeting at this point, and while Superman chases off the OMACs just as Perry and Jimmy arrive, it is revealed that "Clark" and "Superman" were really Superman robots, and that the robot replaced Superman when he was off chasing the Weather Wizard. Lois is so angry she throws Clark out, so that he is not around protect her from the subsequent OMAC attack in real time.

Drash

Last Friday, the kids all got their flu shots. They were supposed to get them about 3 weeks ago, but the pediatrician ran out, and said they'd get back to us when more came in. I knew that more was in even before I got the call, though. They had already notified the elderly, and were using the kids' pre-school as a vaccination site for the nearby Old Folk's Home. The parking lot last Monday was, well, like a parking lot. We made it to the entrance on time, but 20 minutes later we were still in the car. Teachers were walking up and down the rows pulling out their students and walking them into the classrooms, but I was still stuck in the parking lot.

I never actually got a flu shot. I got one a few years ago. It made me really sick, and I still got the flu in February anyway. I'm generally healthy, so not at high risk for complications. Didn't seem worth it. Kids, though, are the major carriers and spreaders of the flu, so I felt like they needed them for their own benefit, and also for the public health.

Even as I'm sitting in the waiting room, though, I was thinking of Robert Kennedy, Jr.'s now discredited argument that mercury in children's vaccines were causing the spike in autism (discredited because now they took the mercury out, and autism rates haven't decreased.) I was looking my five month old, and thinking about how even though the risk was discredited, I was still afraid that the vaccine would have negative side effects, and how I would so much prefer to free ride on the mandatory vaccinations of others.

And this, of course, got me thinking about Superman #222, released about this time last year, where Lois and Clark meet a secret source who informs them that the OMAC infection came from a charitable flu vaccine program. So, now, I'm looking at my little girl and picturing the blue matallic armor covering her up, leaving a single yellow eye staring at me.

It made me wonder two things:

1. How many people didn't vaccinate their children out of either some unspoken fear of autism or OMACism or whatever people are afraid of?

2. Where were all the child-OMACs and elderly-OMACs? They all seemed to become "regular" middle aged people when they un-OMACed, but "regular" people like me aren't the ones who are getting the majority of the flu shots.