Ten Minor Things That Make Me Hate OMAC

I have tried several times to write one of my "standard-form" posts about OMAC, but I gave up. Instead, I'm just going to complain, with some new kvetches, and some repeated from previous posts.


1. The cover of OMAC #4 involves a projection of vagina dentata, with an OMAC-shaped head-penis projecting between Vienna's breasts.

2. An experienced 26 year old has sex with a 17 year old virgin boy, and afterwards swoons that its the best sex she's ever had. TOTALLY Mary Sue.

3. Mike and Vienna fly from Nevada (where the age of consent in 16) to California (where the age of consent in 18), and choose to have sex there. This gives new meaning to "Crossing state lines for immoral purposes." It wasn't statutory rape until they crossed the state line!

4. Superman looks into Vienna's womb the day after she and Mike have sex and tells him the she is "carrying" his child. Even if one of Vienna's eggs were fertilized when they had sex the day before, there is at least five days between fertilization and implantation. There is approximately a 50/50 chance that implantation will not occur successfully. It is really bad form to refer to Vienna as "carrying" anything before the fertilized egg attaches to her.

5. The cover of OMAC #7 shows only Mike and Vienna, but I count at least 5 hands.

6. Superman is trapped inside of Brother Eye because it has kryptonite walls, and he calls Mike to help him out? Not, like, Wonder Woman or Green Lantern?

7. I still have NOOOO idea what parts of the story are dream sequence and which are real. All I know for sure is that more than 25% of #7 was not "really happening."

8. Cover of OMAC #8? Meet vagina dentata. Again.

9. The OMAC virus is an STD that is passed from a virgin.

10. There is no way this is all going to get cleared up in only 22 more pages.

Mary Sue Gets Published (Batman LOTDK # 212, Cover Date Jan. 2007)

"Get him, boy wonder." -- Batman

Characters:

Major Hero: Fernando Guerrero
Minor Hero: Batman, Sonia Costa

Major Villains: Unnamed burglers

P'Shat

Fernando is a geeky high school boy who likes science fiction and astronomy. He's also a big Batman fan. He is sad, because he doesn't have a girlfriend, although he like Sonia. One night, he sets up his telescope on top of the armory, and happens to see Batman swing by. Amazed, he returns the next night and again sees Batman at the same time. Convinced that he has uncovered a portion of Batman's nightly patrol route, Nando screws up the courage to invite Sonia (who also happens to be a Batman fan, and is wearing a pink Batman shirt that day) to come see Batman with him.

Batman, however, fails to arrive at the designated time. Worse still, as Sonia prepares to leave, masked villains come over the wall planning to break into the armory. Faced with seven masked and armed men, Nando nonetheless screws up his courage and lifts his fists defend Sonia. Luckily, Nando's life it spared by the timely arrival of the Dark Knight, who had been surveilling the armory for weeks with foreknowledge of the planned attack.

In the ensuing fight, a masked man takes Sonia hostage, and threatens to shoot her unless Batman retreats. Batman's response: "Get him, Boy Wonder." Nando knocks the gun away, and Batman finishes the job. Upon leaving, Batman says, "Couldn't have done it without you. Thanks." and offers his hand. Sonia yells, "You saved my life," and she and Nando kiss under the light of the bat signal.

Drash

Mary Sue: "Mary Sue (sometimes shortened simply to Sue) is a pejorative term for a fictional character who is portrayed in an overly idealized way and lacks noteworthy flaws, or has unreasonably romanticized flaws. Characters labeled Mary Sues, as well as the stories they appear in, are generally seen as wish-fulfillment fantasies of the author."

The point is, you usually see this is bad fan-fic, not in the actual book! Talk about your romaticized flaws and wish-fulfillment! Geeky boy acts brave in moment of crisis, and helps Batman save the day. The "Get him, Boy Wonder" is what really put this one over the top, made me put down the book, and start laughing.

I've really loved the last few LOTDK arcs, but this One Shot was something I would have expected to read at batmanrulez!!!.com, not in an actual DC comic book.